...

Huzzah! I could have kissed that UPS delivery man.

In other news, I'm not making as much as I wanted to at my new job, despite that fact that I'm a manager and not an assistant manager like I thought I was. I swear, I am the least informed new employee ever.

I don't think the UU church we checked out yesterday quite makes the cut. It was a bit godlier than I expected given all I'd heard and read about UU congregations. I was going to check out that humanist service next weekend, but I have to work this Sunday so I guess that's out.

Also, my babysitter isn't sure she wants to work weekends. Boo. Maybe I can get Shlee to do it, but she'll have to settle for less than her outrageous asking price of $12/hour.

OK, I have to change the laundry around. And then ON TO THE SHOW DOWNLOADS! XD XD XD

I haven't had internet. I still don't, but I just noticed the other day that a coffee shop across the street from our apartment complex has internet available, so here I am. I get my own intertubes on Monday, so yay for that!

I just drank a large cappuccino and now I have to pee so this is going to be shorter than I originally planned when I clicked the "post a blog" link.

Let's see.... The day after I got here I had an interview with the Wendy's people at the airport. I was rather hopeful about it before it happened because they waited a week for me to arrive so they could interview me. Usually people have a day or two to interview and then they pick their people. Then came the interview. It didn't go so well. I was still horribly jet-lagged, I fumbled with what I wanted to say, I forgot to take my piercing out, I'd forgotten to bring my hairbrush so I was wearing a headscarf that was falling off a little bit.... Oh, and Keelin was there! Yeah. Despite all that, they invited me back for a second interview. I still hadn't found a babysitter so I hauled Keelin along again, but at least I was dressed nice (in heels!) and had remembered to remove my labret piercing. It was pointless. The manager walked up to me and announced that I got the job. Yay!

In all of that, I forgot to ask how much I'm making. I picked up my security badge today, I start my first day of actual work on Monday, and I still don't know how much they're paying me. Hahaha... I'm an assistant manager for one of the restaurants behind security, so I'm thinking it can't possibly be less than $10/hour, right?

Let's see... Gramps died on Sunday. The day I arrived in the States, he died. I'd been trying so hard to get back in time to see him, but I missed it. :( Keelin and I spent last weekend in Tri-Cities and I went to the graveyard with my family to put his ashes in the ground. I had to miss the memorial service though because I couldn't get ahold of work and had to be back to get my fingerprints taken on Monday, which was the day of the service. That was okay, though, I didn't really want to go to it. I don't like to have other people see me grieve. Family at the cemetery was all right, but I didn't really feel like being around all those people at the church.

Our new apartment is good. It's two bedrooms with a loft and it's all very open. It's a bit smaller than our apartment in Turkey, but it's still good. It will be better when my parents bring some furniture up for us to use until our stuff arrives. Sitting on the floor is becoming killer on my back.

Keelin started school this week. The school day is only about three hours long, though she's away from home for a bit longer since she rides the bus now. The kids haven't been all that nice to her. The second day she came home from class saying they were kicking her, telling her they would "kick her out of class." I sent a note to her teacher about it yesterday and the teacher called me back saying thanks for the note (she had been unaware of what was going on) and that she would keep an eye out and stop that behavior.

I've been quite surprised with how well I've handled being by myself day in and day out with Keelin so far. I guess we'll see how long that lasts.

Last thing before I pee. I've been reading Raising Freethinkers and for community it recommended trying out the Unitarian Universalist church. They accept everyone, are creedless, and tend to have godless ceremonies and such. Apparently, they also have an awesome comparative religions education for kids. There's a UU church just one MAX stop and a short walk away, considerably closer than the Humanist service I found.

Yesterday I told Keelin we were going to try out the UU church on Sunday. She said, "Oh, like Grandma's church!" I responded in the negative saying it was a church for everyone, including people like me who didn't believe in God. She stated that she believes in Jesus and that you have to tell people about Jesus if you want to go to heaven. I let her talk, told her it was perfectly all right for her to believe and it was also perfectly okay for her to change her mind--as many times as she wants, even. This led to an incredibly funny conversation about Keelin's beliefs. About halfway through I was so tickled that I got out my camera and started recording her, making her restate some of the funnier things she'd said before.

I'll post the video when I get internet and after I download iMovie, as I don't seem to have it on this computer and a little editing to get rid of her ums and ahs and and-then-and-then-and-then-and-thens is necessary. A teaser? Everybody goes to hell, of which there are two. There are also two heavens: a shiny yellow heaven and a black heaven. There are three gods: God, Jesus, and Satan--the mean god.

Anyway, this was longer than I was anticipating when I first said I have to pee. So I'm going to run home and do that now.

I got up at about 5:30 this morning. I was going to get up at 5:45 but I couldn't sleep. Showtime for the patriot was supposed to be 0700. While i was in the shower, Robert called the PAX terminal and found out the showtime had moved back to 0830. Just a little while ago he got a call from (I'm assuming) someone he works with who knows we're on the flight today telling him showtime has been moved back to 1000.

It's not even seven. I could still be asleep. Except, you know, I woke up feeling like I was going to vomit this morning. That doesn't help with the sleeping.

Blerg.

I've been having an interesting e-mail conversation with my grandma about Obama and the separation between church and state. In one of my e-mails I mentioned that one-fifth of my generation (according to some poll or something I read once) are unbelievers. That made me think about my friends.

There are five people in our regular group. If we're typical, then only one of us should be a nonbeliever and the other four should have faith of some sort. As it turns out, we have three atheists, a wiccan, and a lapsed Mormon. Granted, this isn't a random sampling. Two of the atheists are married to each other, and we did learn about the third atheist's lack of belief the first time we met him, so that may have colored our impression of him. However, I do know more that just four people my age. Let's see...

Nonbeliever
Lapsed believer who's been more and more atheistic since meeting us
Nonpracticing believer
Nonpracticing believer

The rest I just don't know. I can say for certain that I've NEVER heard ANYONE of my generation that I've ever hung out since living in Turkey say they go to church (even if they said they do so very rarely).

Oh wait. Scratch that. I just remembered one unapologetic believer. I don't recall him ever saying he went to church, but he and Robert loved to have heated drunken debates on the necessity of chaplains. He left a couple months ago. He was an awesome guy; I kinda miss him now that I'm thinking about it.

And the mention of chaplains brings around another point. This is the MILITARY. If I have a hard time finding practicing believers in the fucking military, then where the hell are they? I think I like where things are going.

Every day's great at your Junes!

I followed a link from somewhere (something on my RSS feeds, I think) to this site with implicit association tests, or tests designed to reveal how you really feel about stuff, and not necessarily what you show. I just took one and it gave me a result I did not expect. You can find the tests here.

Apparently, I have a slight automatic preference for old compared to young. So I'm in that 4% bar.




I have little to no automatic preference between Bush and other presidents.




I have a moderate association of White as American and Asian as foreign.




I have a slight automatic preference for white people over black people.

I have no automatic preference for either John McCain or Barack Obama.

This last one is of no surprise for me:
I have a slight preference for Judaism compared to other religions.




There are tons more, but I'm tired and I'm afraid that may be slowing my reflexes a bit.

So I thought I'd share.




Via

Hmm... Anniversary is a weird word. Anyway, six years today. Woot!

I'm writing this now, assuming that I won't be finishing any more books in the next two days. Honestly, I don't want to. I just finished up The Dark Tower less than five minutes ago after burying myself in all seven books. (There was a small hiatus while I waited for the last three to arrive in the mail.) Now I need a rest. Roland's quest has tired me out. I feel as if I too have spent years journeying through Mid-World. Ka-shume has come and I just need to recover, say thankya.

So, in the spirit of finishing up my bookwork, I'm going to make a handy little list of books I've read this year and what I thought of them. There's 39 of them, a total of 16,184 pages and Gan only knows how many words. I had set a goal of reading at least 10,000 pages at the beginning of this year, and now I realize how stupid that goal was. I bested it half again without even trying. Anywho, in this list bolded titles are ones I recommend and underlined titles are books I'll without a doubt end up reading again.

Son of a Witch
Not as good as Wicked, but still great. Also, the rough page edges made it difficult to thumb.

The Phantom Tollbooth
Wonderful.

Plum Lucky
The Stephanie Plum series seems to be wearing itself out. I'll keep reading the books as they come out, say thankya, but I doubt I'll reread many of the later ones, including this title.

Archeology: A Brief Introduction
Textbook for school. Endlessly fascinating to someone like me, but I won't go so far as to actually recommend it unless you're into reading textbooks. (I am.)

The American Democracy
Another textbook, and an extremely dull one at that. It did have the intoxicating textbook smell that was missing from my archeology book, though.

Everything You Know About God Is Wrong: The Disinformation Guide to Religion
Incredibly fascinating essays on religion from all different perspectives. Coffee table sized, which can make it difficult to hold and read, I recommend it nevertheless.

Captain Nemo's Fantastic Voyage: 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea
Must-read. A classic. I left my full thoughts on this book in a comment.

Magician: Apprentice
This wasn't my first time reading this book and it won't be my last.

Magician: Master
See above. In fact, I'm surprised I didn't finish the entire series. Mayhap I should do that.

Child 44
The only reason I'm not underlining this book is because I gave it away in a Camtu book trade. It's an incredible piece and I wish I had it with me still, so I do.

Blasphemy
I can't remember much about this book. Something about a giant computer that someone tries to convince everyone is God but then turns out (maybe) to actually have been? I remember it entertained me, but it definitely didn't stay with me.

Marley & Me
My gramm bought me this book. I put off reading it for over a year thinking it wasn't the sort of book I enjoy. Finally I read it, and I'll be damned if I didn't enjoy it. And hate it. I can't think of another book that's made me bawl like a baby.

The Host
This was the first Stephanie Meyer book I picked up. I had no idea what Twilight was when I grabbed this book. It had a pretty cover and, sad to say, that is often why I buy the books I buy. It is an incredible story, a million times better than Twilight and I have a sneaking suspicion that it will be the next book I read.

The Enduring Vision: A History of the American People (Volume II: Since 1865)
Another textbook.

Where Are You Now?
I picked this up because I recognized the name of the author, Mary Higgins Clark. It was horrible. Simply horrible. This woman makes a living spinning these boring yarns?

The Monsters of Templeton
Like Blasphemy, I enjoyed this book but it hasn't stayed with me enough to make an impact. She's pregnant so she goes back home and then it turns out she's not really pregnant or something like that.

Brave New World
Read. Then read 1984. Then watch Equilibrium. ...Mmmm... Christian Slater..... ... ... What?

Free Food for Millionaires
The only non-textbook that I didn't finish. I managed to finish that Mary Higgins Clark drivel but this didn't grip me enough for me to finish it. Then again, what I read of this book was as long as the entire Mary Higgins Clark novel. Maybe each book gets a 250 pages tryout or something.

Open: Love, Sex & Life in an Open Marriage
This book was incredible. It was able to articulate things I never could. I highly recommend it to everyone.

Crave: The Seduction of Snow White
My first erotic fiction. This is the book that led to my discovery that romance novels are PERFECT for airplane rides. They keep you engaged, but they're not so difficult your tired mind can't grasp them.

Twilight
I think everybody knows Twilight by now, right? I'll probably end up reading the series again, but I don't know for certain.

New Moon
I seem to be the only one who enjoyed this book the most. Oh well.

Eclipse
More Twilight.

Fearless Fourteen
What I said about Plum Lucky applies here as well.

The War of the Worlds
This one was actually difficult for me to get through. I found myself simply not caring.

The Areas of My Expertise
Best. Bathroom. Book. Ever. It's also great for sitting on the couch or for reading in bed before you turn off the lights or for riding in a rail car like a hobo.

Breaking Dawn
I think this was my second favorite of the Twilight Saga. Except for what she named her damn kid. I mean, really. If you haven't read it, you should; just for that damned awful name if nothing else.

A Voyage Long and Strange
American history as you've never seen it before. Endlessly fascinating and surprisingly funny. A must-read.

Practical Demonkeeping
It's a Christopher Moore book. Need I say more? This book was an incredibly lucky find at the paperback exchange at the USO in Ramstein. Imagine my surprise to find this book, in good shape even, tucked between all those boring straight-to-paperback mysteries and historical fiction.

Me of Little Faith
While I could practically hear Lewis Black yelling at me through the pages of this book, I won't go so far as to recommend it. The man's genius lies on the stage, not on the page.

Atheist Universe
I've read a lot of atheist books over the past couple of years and, after a while, they all start to repeat each other. This one didn't. It was grand and I highly recommend it.

The Gunslinger
"The man in black fled across the desert, and the gunslinger followed." You know you want to read more now.

The Drawing of the Three
Step through the door. You know you want to.

The Waste Lands
Blaine is a pain. And that's the truth.

Wizard and Glass
I guess I'm a bit slow on the uptake because I had no idea until one of the later books that Mejis is supposed to be like Mexico. But then why did Susan have blond hair?

First They Killed My Father
I read this book just to hold myself over until the last three Dark Tower books arrived. It did more than hold me over, it took me over. It's an incredibly moving story about a girl living under Khmer Rouge in Cambodia.

Wolves of the Calla
That's a Spanish double-L. Pronounced like a Y. I didn't know that when I started and it took forever to correct my inner voice once I found out.

Song of Susannah
My least favorite of all the Dark Tower books, but still incredibly good.

The Dark Tower
The end of the quest. Or is it?

That is all.

Keelin and I were singing silly songs yesterday. We sang Jingle Bells, Batman Smells and Randolph the Shiny-Gunned Cowboy. Then I tried to teach her Magdalena Hagdalenda but I couldn't quite remember it. I looked up the lyrics but they weren't the ones I grew up with. Last night as I was trying to fall asleep, all the old verses came back to me in a flash. Also, I learned something. My family was really not very good with tongue twisters at all. Her name is completely different from all the names I've seen online. (No wonder they weren't helping me remember!)

Anyway, a lot of the verses I read online were pretty good. Here are the ones I grew up with. What were yours?

[Chorus]
Oh... Magdalena Hagdalena
Ooga Wakka Wakka Wakka
Moga Moga Moga was her name!

She had hair like shredded wheat
A little cream and sugar and it's ready to eat

[Chorus]

She had to ears on the side of her head
One was dyin' and the other was dead

[Chorus]

She had two eyes on the front of her face
One sat down while the other ran a race

[Chorus]

She had a nose like Pinocchio's
Stretched from here to Tokyo

[Chorus]

She had two lips shaped just like wieners
Used 'em on the floor as vacuum cleaners

[Chorus]

She had a neck like a ten foot pole
Right in the middle was a big black mole

[Chorus]

She had two hands like frying pans
Used one for karate and the other for a fan

[Chorus]

She had two hips, two remarkable hips
Shaped just like two battle ships

[Chorus]

She had two feet size forty-eight
Enough to cover the entire state

[Chorus]

A ten-ton truck hit Magdalena
Poor old fella had to buy a new machine-a!

[Chorus]

...

What other silly songs can I teach Keelin?

  Under UK law, no VAT is charged on biscuits and cakes — they are "zero rated". Chocolate covered biscuits, however, are subject to VAT, currently 15%. McVities classed its Jaffa Cakes as cakes, but in 1991, this was challenged by Her Majesty's Customs and Excise and the case ended up before the courts.^[6] This may have been because Jaffa Cakes are about the same size and shape as some types of biscuit. A question that the court asked itself was "what criteria should be used to class something as a cake?"

McVities defended its classification of Jaffa Cakes as cakes. In doing so it produced a giant Jaffa Cake to illustrate that its Jaffa Cakes were simply miniature cakes.

McVities argued that a distinction between cakes and biscuits is, inter alia, that biscuits would normally be expected to go soft when stale, whereas cakes would normally be expected to go hard. It was demonstrated to the Tribunal that Jaffa Cakes become hard when stale. Other factors taken into account by the Chairman, Mr Potter QC, included the name, ingredients, texture, size, packaging, marketing, presentation, appeal to children, and manufacturing process. Contrary to a commonly held belief, whether something is considered a 'luxury item' is not a test for VAT purposes.

Mr Potter ruled that the Jaffa Cake is a cake. McVities therefore won the case and VAT is not paid on Jaffa Cakes.^[7]

Via Wikipedia

I have no explanation other than I've had some amaretto and this made me laugh.

Via GraphJam